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[112] Better Than Yesterday.

10/20/2011

I had the day off today, so I spent a few hours journaling, thinking and praying about what made yesterday so weird. And by weird I mean, I cried a lot. Again. Second time in a week or so that I was really, really unhappy. I knew exactly why, and I tried to change my thinking, but my brain couldn’t see through it. Even after a talk with my best friend, and a talk with my other best friend, and a talk with Jesus, I just couldn’t see why I should be happy when so many things in my life right now are making me unhappy. So instead, I just fell asleep, because I was sick of crying and over-thinking too many things.

Thankfully, a lot of things made today better. It was probably because I didn’t have to go to work (which is a whole ‘nother story in itself that I won’t get in to). Or maybe it was the whole “joy comes in the morning” promise God has made to us, which I fully believe, because last night into today was complete proof of that. Maybe it was because I ran pretty early this morning while it was raining and even though it was a little chilly, I felt great and ran faster than normal. Maybe it was because the rest of the day turned out to be beautiful and sunny and inspiring. Maybe it was the fact I am wearing a striped, pink, long-sleeve shirt my momma sent me in the mail that makes me feel good about myself :)

Whatever it was, today was better. I sat and journaled 7 pages, which I guess is what happens when I haven’t written anything down since August 25th. I thought everything out, and just kept writing (my hand even cramped up. You know I musta been pretty intense about it). Blogging is nice, but I love having a hard copy of all my thoughts. Someday WordPress is going to blowup and lose all my posts and, consequently, the last 2 years of my life. But my journal will always be around, nestled in my tote bag or sitting quietly on my bookshelf. I like that about journals.

Today was better. My problems aren’t gone, no, but my mind is now in a place where I can be patient and try to see the light at the end of this semi-miserable transitional life tunnel. God has things under control. I just need to continue to believe that.

~stephanie

P.S. Nate is coming to visit soon. Which is another reason why today is much better than yesterday.

P.P.S. Yes, I wear stripes and polkadots together. The more patterns, the merrier.

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